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Chimpanzee Prophets of the Future: Experts in the field of "We Don't Know What We're Talking About, But We'll Try to Make It Sound Good"

Our team of highly trained, yet slightly unhinged chimpanzees will do their best to answer your most pressing questions. If they can't figure it out, they'll make something up. Probably.

Click here for our extensive collection of Chimp Prophetic Puns!

Or, if you're feeling particularly adventurous:

Visit our Prophetic Procrastination Station!

Or, if all else fails:

Enter our Chimp Tangent Generator, where the answers are always sideways and sometimes upside-down!